Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
