he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
