The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
