i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
