In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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