Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
