I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
