i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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