Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
