BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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