don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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