I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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