He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
