Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
