Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
