You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
