hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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