Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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