hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize