I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
