I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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