it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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