Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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