my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
