is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
