a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
