great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
