Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
