Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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