whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
