I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
