The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You need Xanax blowdarts
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
