This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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