Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
