Quick, to the slutcave!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
