just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
