Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
