Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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