I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
