he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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