i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
