Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
People in love make me want to vomit
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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