oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
