well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
