Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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