I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
