Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
