He is such a slut. More and more my type.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
