belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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