I must be too annoying 4 u.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
