And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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