so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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