I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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