Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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