dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
