So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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