Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
