All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
