who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
