ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
