I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
